dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
