i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
