Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize