fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
