hotel room ftw
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
