sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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