D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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