I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you never un-have a 4some
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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