3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
