all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
