just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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