I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
