i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
worst night to have a conscience
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize