last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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