I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
