now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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