You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
