dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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