I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize