marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
