Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
