i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My penis needs a shock collar
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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