my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
