I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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