dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My feet surprised me
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