sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We left the knife in your bed.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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