I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
