If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
