Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
