We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize