is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
