Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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