It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
