I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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