Me too!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
