so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
