girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
