She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
