Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
wakey wakey hands off snakey
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
