he wants to bone in the snuggie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
