i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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