I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You pole danced in your parka.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
