Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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