guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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