We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
