No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
