After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
