Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
