Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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