Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
