HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
