This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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