apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
