I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize