I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
