i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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