Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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