Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
