I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
MIDGETS
????
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
