Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
