I hate all girls vehemently.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
