xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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